The Glitter League

TGL Fans!!

It’s almost kick-off for the world’s greatest football league!!

Round one of TGL XII is only hours away, and from the get-go, there are already a couple of matches to set the scene for the new season.

GENARINIO is back after a long holiday in Sardinia and has been poached by the newly formed ALPHA WOLVES, who are also based in the rough and tough suburbs of Napoli. His first match is against his long-time friend but TGL adversary ZEUS and his RUBBER SOULS.

The RUBBER SOULS had their worst-ever TGL season in TGL XI, being condemned to the basement of the ladder. His team’s performance had him locked up in a drunken stupor for almost the entire season, refusing to leave the SKANDINAVIAN BAR in Mykonos even after the doors would shut.

It will be a test for the returning Italian two-time TGL champion to see whether he still has the capability to lead a team to TGL success. On the other hand, for ZEUS, it will be a test to see whether he has recovered from his ouzo-infused slumber and whether he can be considered a serious threat or not.

Last year’s three-time TGL champion SOO and his SOONAMI are up against the perennial bridesmaids, ANGE’S ARTFUL DODGERS. SOO has been begging for quality managers like GENARINIO to return to TGL so that he can have someone to compete with. The DODGERS, well, they have to break their hoodoo of lingering around the top of the table but never grabbing the top spot.

PSARI FC have finally ditched their chinos and have opted for new graphene shorts in the hope of winning a "proper" TGL title and not settling for just the single tainted title. They are facing the new entrants to TGL XII, the COYS, who have come with a lot of promise to the championship. It will be a good test for the new Psari shorts but also for the new team and how they settle into TGL demands.

The COBRA KAIS had their best-ever season in TGL XI with their "strike-first" offence approach that KREESE has brought from his dojo to the football pitch. He will be hoping that his COBRAS can continue their success as they are also facing TGL debutants, THE PATHETIC CREW. The debutants are a seasoned IPL franchise with successes not only in cricket but also football in their domestic lucrative leagues. They have successfully been given a TGL franchise with the aspiration to turn it into a global success.

The final match, and the match of the round, are the three-time TGL champions XEKO PSOLS AFC matching up against the other perennial bridesmaids and chokers, PEPPERS FC. This is always a grudge match between heated rivals ZORAN and SHLAPPER T. These two do not get along, and they are not about to either.

The XEKO PSOLS would usually be favourites for an opening TGL match; however, they are playing their first match at home, and this is never a good omen for SHLAPPER T. There are also rumours that he is behind JIMMY RIFF’s readmission into rehab from suffering Transferitis. SHLAPPER T allegedly taunted JIMMY after he heard he was returning, with SMS messages simply stating, "Sweaty Palms??". This was apparently enough to trigger JIMMY and place him back into relapse.

Here are the SKYLBet favourites for the first round of TGL:

• Alpha Wolves
• SOOnami
• Coys
• Cobra Kais
• Xeko Psols AFC